Casey’s Feature:
The story about UNE’s online systems covers some important issues but could be improved in a few ways. The introduction should be clearer and more focused. It raises a good question about whether the technology is working, but it doesn’t explain the problems right away. The article jumps between different topics, like the OKTA system and Brightspace, without smooth transitions, which makes it a bit difficult to follow. It would be better to connect these ideas more clearly so readers can see the bigger picture. The quotes from students are helpful but could use more explanation to show why these issues matter. For example, instead of just quoting complaints about OKTA, the article could explain why the system is a problem. The ending could also be stronger. Instead of just asking if changes are needed, it would be better to wrap up with a clear suggestion or conclusion.
Abby’s Feature:
The story about the balance between academics and athletics at UNE could be improved in several ways. First, the introduction could be clearer and more direct. The question of whether it’s fair for varsity athletes to receive special privileges is good, but the story doesn’t immediately explain what those privileges are or how they affect others. The piece also jumps between different perspectives without smooth transitions, which can confuse readers. Each student’s experience is important, but linking these sections more cohesively would help the reader follow the story better. The quotes are useful, but more context and analysis around them would help clarify the points being made. For example, when discussing varsity athletes’ schedules, the story could provide more explanation about why their schedules are prioritized and how this impacts non-varsity athletes. Also, the concluding paragraph feels a bit rushed and would benefit from a stronger wrap-up that ties together all the different experiences, offering a final reflection/suggestion. Another thing that could use improvement is simplifying some of the language and cutting down on repetition. Overall, the article would be clearer and more engaging with better organization, stronger transitions, and more analysis of the different perspectives.
Jaydn’s Feature:
The story about UNE’s Safe Ride shuttle highlights important issues but could benefit from some improvements in structure, clarity, and flow. The introduction could be more engaging by immediately focusing on the reliability problems with Safe Ride, rather than starting with a general description of the service. Smoother transitions would help the reader follow the story better. More context could also be provided about why Safe Ride’s reliability matters, especially for students with disabilities, in order to make the issue more relatable. The quotes from students are insightful, but they could be connected more clearly to the broader concerns about accessibility and dependability. For example, when mentioning the tracker’s inaccuracy, it would help to explain why this is problematic in more detail. Additionally, while the perspective from Security Supervisor Linden Jackson is important, the story would benefit from balancing his viewpoint with more analysis on the impact of Safe Ride’s issues on students. Another thing that could use some work is the conclusion. It feels a bit rushed.
